Some time in high school I decided to wipe the slate clean and rebuild my fundamental foundation. Ideologies of the anarcho-syndicalist brewed together with the no-meaningness of nihilism. As time has gone on I’ve built such a complex equation on what is morally right and wrong; equations to decide if something is meaningful; equations to decide if my action has any value. I’ve laid awake so many nights wondering why, contemplating the problems in my soul and the problems of the world.
Each day and each new reading, every discovery opens a new sense of clarity to my understanding of the world. I knew I did not having everything figured out; but, I thought I had almost everything accounted for. I found my motivations and reasons, and things were understandable.
Yet, it is so mind blowing that one person can shake such fundamental foundations and rewrite all those methodical equations to figuring out life. When you no longer catch yourself pondering why, but instead knowing you need to. How there are new motivations that cause you to do things with a new vigor.
I guess I always missed one thing when contemplating life. And that one thing is love, a force not understood.
